Christmas Party General Training FOUR

Brought to you by Natasha:

In order to obtain the vigour for sleeping, playing, and obstructing a Christmas Party, a cat must eat! Eating Christmas food is however only half the fun; the other half is attaining the food and partying with style during the process. In the previous post we had pathetic ideas from those who claimed to know it all. Be sure to pay attention to further skills necessary for your Christmas Party Food etiquette!

There will be at least one Slave Guest who arrives with a woven cane gift basket full of Slave goodies. The baskets are wonderful pre dinner snacks. Carefully nibble the choicest canes off the handle first. They are handy and tasty, and will last a long time. Confine your snacking to when the Slaves aren't looking!

Make sure you leave the tip of your tail on or in Slaves’ former snack bowls when they are finally seated at table and looking. Tableware is next; this is best when walking amongst the exquisite dishes after the main is served. Be prepared to look surprised and hurt when scolded. The idea is to force your Slaves to reveal that they tolerate this behaviour of food table walking when Slave Guests are not visiting.

If severely scolded, catch something outside. It is only polite to attempt to get to know your catch and it will usually not be so polite back and will try to leave - so be insistent. Do NOT eat the food you've just caught, be considerate it IS Christmas and it will make a perfect gift for your favourite Slave Guest! Take it inside and leave it somewhere highly visible. Your gift will be more welcome if it is still alive! Be sure all Slave Guests are seated and proudly place on table when best crystal glasses are about to be filled or not too many minutes after the Slaves start eating main course. Slaves love a good game of chase so LIVE birds and mice are best. Be careful not to help them because it's their gift after all.

Table scraps are delicacies which Slaves are unfortunately unwilling to readily part. It is beneath the dignity of a cat to beg outright for food as lower forms of life such as dogs. Several techniques ensure the Slaves don't forget you. These include but are not limited to jumping onto softest lap and purring loudly; lying down in the doorway between the dining room and the kitchen; twining around legs and meowing plaintively; plus meowing whilst resting your paws on a Slave’s leg.

To sublimely end a fine Christmas Party Feast, after dinner coffee is known to be rejuvenating for both felines and Slaves. Whenever a Slave sets a cup of coffee within your reach, they are showing you great respect and worship. Softly blow the divine liquid until cool, test temperature with paw and then daintily drink.